Well, it seems that more and more I'm given the opportunity to say :

Told you so.

It's always about one person. Always the same person..

I knew she would forget about us. And maybe she "misses" us. Maybe she "loves" us. But she doesn't call when she says she will. And she says she's "here" but she's no where.

In a way I'm all like "Yeah, I knew I wouldn't care. I knew this would happen when she left. Oh well."

Then in another way I'm all like "Fuck man, this really fuckin hurts. Why can't I just be wrong for a change?"

I'm keeping myself busy. Because when I stop moving for too long it all floods in. When I'm doing something I'm distracted. Not listening to all the thoughts my head is playing for me.

I'm working on my room some more. And I might do some more painting. Or at least I'll move some furniture back.

I'm excited to be done so I can be excited about being comfortable in the physical sense. Because emotionally I am so very uncomfortable. But I'm pretending everything is just fine.

Like sitting in one of those bean bag chairs. If someone were to say "You comfortable?" you would say "Oh yeah". But what you really want is a recliner with a foot rest, a heating pad and massage options. What the fuck do you want to sit on a giant bean bag for?

Yeah, that's me. I can make light of the situation but its getting worse.

---

Last Five:
- - 2005-04-16
- - 2004-11-21
-- - 2004-10-10
- - 2004-09-04
- - 2004-08-28