It's been a week since I've been here to update. I check it everyday for what someone else might have said, and don't enter.

Aren't I sucktacular?

I went to a wedding yesterday. It was the first wedding of friends I've had my whole life growing up. They got hitched. It was pretty sweet.

And I did some dancing and had 5 drinks and didn't even catch a little buzz. Off five? What the hell was with that rum that it wouldn't give me a buzz! Bah!

Anyways it was fun.

I'm restless again with this layout. I might go for something new all over again. Who knows.

This restlessness with this place could be the end of me. I dunno. Maybe I'll just all of a sudden get a big rush of inspiration and write here a lot again.

-_-_-

I wrote this awhile ago. It's interesting, I think anyways.

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The Requiem I Wrote

“Else had I an eternal requiem kept, And in the arms of peace forever slept.”

Elsewhere is the place I lay. And I know I put myself there. I know I dressed in this gown. I know I wrote this requiem.
This silk and satin encases me. This box of pine my new home. I chose not these options. And yet I am saturated in them.
This makeup is stiffling. I want to laugh. I want to smile. I want to grin and breath. I didn't want this.
They're talking about me now. They're laughing about me now. They're talking about me now, like I'm not laying right here.
They're waiting for my call to be answered. They waited till the end. Waited for the telephone, it rang.
They're watching the candle flicker. Out.
The words aren't carried anymore. The words are over now. They stopped talking about me now.
The requiem began again.
Why did they cross my arms like this? I never slept like this before. And yet, it's peaceful. And yet, I am thoroughly uncomfortable.
I don't know that face. Why are they here? Surely I should know that face.
And why are they dancing? And why are those children oblivious? How are they skipping? I'm trying to sleep here. What is this taste on my tongue? And why do I feel so cold? My nose is itchy. Yet, I can't really feel it.
Shut the lights off. Light more candles. Set me afire.
Hey what's that song? What is that lyric? Who wrote those words? Are you talking about me again?
Sunny day outside. Close this box. I want to rest.
Where are you taking me? And why don't I have a say?
And is all this silk necessary? I never liked things of glamour, I wanted to be surrounded in traditional class. This isn't what I ordered. This wasn't on the menu. Who chose this for me?
And what was that noise? And where are you taking me? Who's this man? And why is he wearing that?
Where is my mother? And my sister? I didn't want this. I never wanted this. I didn't choose this.
The shadow? What shadow? Why are they looking at me? And why is this box being shut again? And what was that sound? Was that a flower? Was that a flower?
Who threw that dirt at me? I'm no longer carried. No longer carried. I'm being lowered. I never wanted this. Lowered. Lowered. This seems far. Take me back. Let me out. Take me back.
Their heels are sinking in as they walk away. I can hear it. The grass is angry. The dirt fought back. I can hear it.
I hear tears. I feel sobs. Don't cry. I never wanted this. I never chose this. I hear you crying. Don't cry. I never asked for this.
Sleep now? I can sleep now?
That's my name. Stop calling me. Shut up! I want to go back.
The game is over. I hear you laughing. I want to go home.

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The end.

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Last Five:
- - 2005-04-16
- - 2004-11-21
-- - 2004-10-10
- - 2004-09-04
- - 2004-08-28